The Longest Four-Day Week: Cosmic Doom, Forest Trips Gone Wrong, and Book Recommendations

Thursday morning arrives with a weary sigh – the longest four-day week drags on, bringing with it a peculiar collection of news stories that range from cosmic threats to psychedelic misadventures. 

Venus might be harboring a deadly secret: at least three "city-killer" asteroids circling in unstable orbits that could potentially strike Earth without warning. Brazilian researchers warn these space rocks could deliver impacts with "a million times more energy than the Hiroshima atomic bomb" if their trajectories shift even slightly. It's the kind of news that makes you wonder why we bother with mundane worries.

The earthbound headlines prove equally strange. Two New York hikers called emergency services in panic, convinced their friend had died on an Adirondack Mountain trail – only for rangers to discover they were simply "zooted off" psychoactive mushrooms. Their supposedly deceased companion was found alive, uninjured, and likely confused about the whole ordeal. Meanwhile, a Palm Beach plastic surgeon reveals patients are increasingly requesting to look like political figures rather than movie stars, with Ivanka Trump, Kristi Noem, and Kimberly Guilfoyle topping the wishlist. And in Shanghai, a viral video shows a woman allegedly forced to remove her heavy makeup at immigration when facial recognition couldn't match her appearance to her passport.

Between asteroid doom and mushroom-induced panic, there's still room for literary recommendations. Maureen Callahan's exposé on the Kennedy family offers shocking revelations about America's political dynasty, while Julie Satow's "The Plaza" delivers historical facts through engaging creative non-fiction. What are you reading right now? Share your current book – perhaps something to distract from city-killing asteroids or, at minimum, help you navigate the longest four-day week ever.

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Liberty Line each week on Sunday, look for topics on my X file @americanistblog and submit your 1-3 audio opinions to anamericanistblog@gmail.com and you'll be featured on the podcast. 

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Chapters

• 0:29 Tired Thursday Intro
• 0:51 City-Killing Asteroids from Venus
• 3:37 High Hikers Comedy Break
• 5:47 Plastic Surgery Trends Go Political
• 7:05 Airport Makeup Removal Incident
• 8:17 Current Book Recommendations

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:15

Hello, good morning. It is Thursday, man, I tell you what. This has been the longest four-day week ever. I wish it would hurry up. I'm tired. I don't know why I'm tired, but I'm just tired. I woke up this morning in a mood I'm just tired, I need to get snap out of it.

Speaker 1: 0:33

I don't know how good this episode is going to be, so let's get started, shall we? Let's start with some gloom and doom. Oh, my goodness, three city-killing asteroids could strike Earth within weeks this sounds like a Jeffy topic, doesn't it? He may have already covered it, I don't know Generating a million times more energy than Hiroshima atomic bomb. Well, we got that going for us. That's nice, so that's good, all right.

Speaker 1: 0:59

Venus is concealing at least three city killer asteroids that could strike earth in weeks without warning, potentially wreaking havoc upon our planet before we can react. Well, isn't this a warning right now? Okay, um 20 co-orbital orbitai asteroids, space rocks in the orbit of two celestial bodies of Venus are currently known. The authors warned in the oh, oh, my gosh, a rock-alyptic study, which was okay, you don't need to know all that. The international research team led by Valerio Caruba of San Paolo University in Brazil wrote that at least three of the asteroids that circle the sun in tandem with our twin planet have unstable orbits that can take them dangerously close to earth. Well, how about that? If this shaky trajectory is shifted only slightly by a small gravitational change or other force, the asteroids could be set on a collision course with our planet. Per the study, co-orbital status protects these asteroids from close approaches to Venus, but it does not protect them from encountering Earth. Ooh, so you can go finish reading that if you care to. So we got that going for us.

Speaker 1: 2:24

So I guess you know I was going to say get your affairs in order, but then I thought why? All right, I'm going to skip over this next one, because I want you to go read that on your own. I really don't want to talk about it on here because it's horrifying. Seton Hall pitcher tells horrifying tale of brutal hazing at renowned baseball program, which allegedly included beatings and forced sex acts. You would think in the year 2025 of our dear Lord, that these things, people would not be doing these sorts of things anymore, because you know you're going to be found out. Let's say it's not true. And this guy made it up, even him. You would think in the year of our Lord, 2025, he would not be saying such things if it's lies, because he's going to be found out. So, either way, if it's a lie or if it's true, you're going to be found out. Why? Why I don't? I don't get it. Uh, I'm gonna move on from that.

Speaker 1: 3:23

This next one sounds kind of fun, for I'm what. It's a warning for some of you out there to not do drugs. New york hikers called cops, thinking their friend died on a trail, but they were just high on mushrooms. This is from the new york post. This is hilarious. I'm sorry, but it's funny. A pair of new york hikers called police, believing their friend had died on it. I already said all that. Why do they have to have the headline and the first paragraph say the same thing? Oh, I know why. Seo friendly content, all right.

Speaker 1: 3:54

State forest rangers near cascade mountain received a disturbing call from two hikers who said their friend was dead on the popular Adirondack Mountains Trail and that the pair was lost. Well, that's what happens when you get high on mushrooms. I mean, it doesn't say like how were they just out there and they decided to eat some mushrooms that were growing and they didn't know what they were, or did they bring the drugs with them and they, you know I don't. Did they bring the drugs with them and they, you know, I don't know, like was it an accident that they got high by eating something out there in the forest? Why? This is why I'm not an outdoorsy girl, no, thank you. Uh, so a ranger was successfully sent to recover the two stranded woodsmen and well, they're not woodsmen, I'll tell you that if they were woodsmen they'd know what the hell they were doing and quickly determined they were in an altered mental state and later discovered they had ingested the psychoactive substance. According to the release, the friend they believed to be dead also called park officials and was found alive and completely uninjured, according to the release. And was found alive and completely uninjured. According to the release, the third hiker, who was separated from his two pals, was found and escorted back to the group's campsite. In a twist of irony, park officials called an ambulance not for a dead hiker but for the loopy duo who were zooted off of the psychoactive fungi.

Speaker 1: 5:21

Zooted off, what does that mean? Were zooted off of the? I don't even know what that? That must be a new hip word zooted off. I have to look that up later. Wow, all right. Here's a frightening thing.

Speaker 1: 5:33

If you've noticed how all the women look alike on on news broadcast, especially fox news, here's why mara mara l face, now the most in-demand plastic surgery doctor, reveals who everyone is requesting to look like, and you are not, I think, going to believe. You might believe it. I don't know. I'm not going to read all this because it goes on and on and on talking about how people used to come in and say I want to look like Angelina Jolie or I want to look like Jennifer Aniston. It was usually celebrities. They wanted to look like movie stars. Now they're coming in wanting to look like politicians. One of them is Kristi Noem. No, thank you, no. What is wrong with women? So this plastic surgeon in Palm Beach is seeing an uptick. They want to look like Ivanka Trump too, which you know. That's not bad. I'd like to look like Ivanka Trump too. But Kimberly Guilfoyle is another one. Oh, good heavens, no. And here's the thing he says about Kimberly Guilfoyle. The surgeon says he doesn't think that she has gone under the knife at all. It's just been a lot of fillers. Yeah, that's a lot of fillers, all right. Anyway, there's that story If you care to go read this one, that one, the next one, the last one is the humiliated passenger forced to scrub off heavy makeup because her face didn't match her passport.

Speaker 1: 6:51

You are asking for trouble. I don't know how true this is, but you know there's pictures and videos and it's in shanghai. So who knows, a woman flying out of shanghai was forced to scrub off her heavy makeup at an airport immigration because the facial scanner couldn't recognize her. That's a lie. That's a lie. Facial recognition can still recognize you with your makeup. I promise you that. The viral video unless it's a cheap ass facial recognition thing, so anyway, it has pictures of her. You know being having her wipe off her makeup in front of the agent blah, blah, blah, uh, so it's not like she was able to walk around with a filter on in real life.

Speaker 1: 7:33

Right another quipped this is cosplay, not just regular makeup. Oh, it must have been a real. It must have been, must have been horrible, like huge. The now infamous clip, which has racked up thousands of views, subsequently shows the flyer scrubbing off bridal-level layers of cosmetics. I mean, bridal layers isn't that bad. You know why you put on heavy makeup for bridal, for your wedding, for the photographs. That's why. So, anyway, you can go finish reading that.

Speaker 1: 8:03

So my question of the day is okay, I think I've asked this before, but we're going to ask it again what are you reading right now? I'm reading two books actually. I'm listening to to Maureen Callahan's the Ask, not Kennedy Women or something like that. It is eye-opening, y'all. It's not just for women. I think men would enjoy this book too. If you haven't read it, you should go get it and read it. It is wow.

Speaker 1: 8:30

You know I'm Generation X, so I grew up in that in-between time period of the Kennedys and you know I was a kid and everything I didn't really know. You know JFK, when was he shot? 63 rfkjjrcom highlight some of the, the Kennedy men and the women mainly. I am stunned, I'm stunned, especially RFKJ Jr y'all. Did you know? You guys go look up what happened with his now dead wife, who committed suicide? His, oh man. You should go read and listen to this book, or at least it's. It's amazing, it's amazing. It's like how did I not know this about the Kennedys?

Speaker 1: 9:21

Okay, um, and then what I'm reading actually reading is called the Plaza. Let me get it out of here. It's, um, the Plaza by Julie Satow and I got the Plaza because the other book she has a couple of books and the next book I want to read of hers I've already forgotten what it was called, oh my gosh, hang on. Oh, her other book is the reason I wanted to get this book the Plaza because it was her first book. And then the next book is the Women who Ran Fifth Avenue and this is all based on. This is real life stuff, but she I guess this is what they call creative non-fiction where she writes it where it's interesting.

Speaker 1: 9:57

Okay, and so far it's good, and it's not a bunch of lefty stuff. So so far, so far we'll see. And it's good. I like it's like real, factual things told storytelling wise. So, anyway, that's all I've got for you. Thanks for listening. I hope the day gets better. I have a feeling I want to be swamped at work, which is good. That way I'll be distracted from all this other crap. There is no other crap. There's nothing wrong going on. Okay, I don't know why I'm in a mood Everything is fine, there's nothing wrong. I just woke up ill, I guess. I don't know. I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm hungry, all this strict keto crap, but you know what?