An Americanist Briefing
Welcome to An Americanist Daily, your go-to solo podcast for a quick and snarky dive into the current events and politics shaping our nation! As a daily extension of the An Americanist blog, I’m here to break down the headlines that matter—Monday through Friday—without the fluff and filler.
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An Americanist Briefing
Cake Wars and Cheating Husbands: Friday Morning Advice Column Deep Dive
What happens when you stumble upon your husband in bed with your sister? Would you tell them you saw, or carry that secret for three decades? One Dear Abby letter writer chose silence—and now, after her ex-husband's death, finds herself haunted by her sister's continued admiration for the man who betrayed them both.
Today's episode takes a refreshing break from depressing headlines to explore relationship dynamics through the lens of Dear Abby letters. We dive into stories that reveal troubling patterns and red flags: a controlling boyfriend who publicly humiliates his partner by forcing unnecessary apologies to strangers, a husband who refuses household duties despite his wife's demanding career, and a mother whose thoughtful birthday preparations for her 40-year-old daughter are met with shocking ingratitude.
These stories spark deeper questions about relationship boundaries, secrets, and family tensions. When is it time to walk away? How do we divide household responsibilities fairly? Should decades-old betrayals be brought to light? Between these thought-provoking scenarios, I share my cake preferences (red velvet, hold the nuts) and invite you to consider yours. What's your favorite celebration cake? Share your thoughts and join us Sunday for the return of Brute Awakening after our Tunica getaway last weekend.
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Hello, good morning, happy Friday. I searched and searched and searched and really could not find anything interesting to talk about this morning. I mean, it's the same old, same old crap. And it's been like this for the last few mornings. I've been struggling to find something interesting to share with you that's other than the mainstream news, and I'm just not finding anything except horrible death and destruction. So we are going to do, dear Abby, today I'm going to pick a couple and we're going to see what happens.
Speaker 1:My boyfriend scolds me in public and makes me apologize to strangers. Oh boy, this is probably a made-up one. This has got to be a made-up one. My boyfriend embarrassed me when he told me to apologize to a woman standing behind him in line at the market. He was about to pay for the groceries when I said I'd run to get an item I had forgotten, it took less than a minute and the order was still being run rung up. When I went back to include the item, he ordered me to loudly to apologize to the woman standing in the line behind him. Abby, he was still paying. She wasn't even in line when I went to get the mustard because he was still there. I thought he had told her he was waiting for me. It's not the first time he's done something like this. I don't think I did anything wrong, or even if I did, he could have told me privately and not made me feel like a misbehaving child. I would feel different if we had left the checkout line, but he hadn't. I thought he was holding the line for me, not a child in Florida.
Speaker 1:Okay, the good news is you are not married to this man yet. So there's your red flag Do not marry this man. Break up with him right now. That's my blunt advice to you. So here's what Dear Abby said Dear, not a child. If there had been a long line, I can understand that running back to fetch the mustard might have caused a serious inconvenience Because there wasn't. Your boyfriend should not have embarrassed you the way he did, since it wasn't the first time he has done something like this. Assume that he derives satisfaction from doing it. There you go, she says. Think hard about whether you really want a future with a partner. So there you go. Not a child in florida, all right, let's see what is up next.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm the breadwinner, but my husband won't do any chores. This has got to be. These all have got to be made up. Come on, all right, I was dear Abby. I was once a stay-at-home wife. I did all the cooking, housekeeping etc.
Speaker 1:Due to a downturn in the industry, where my husband was a highly paid executive, he turned to a health care career using his bachelor degree. I returned to work in a well-paying but demanding job. So now I cook, we eat, he sits down to watch tv and I clean while watching tv. When I ask for help, he accuses me of being a nag. I I'm growing more and more depressed over this Advice. Please Feeling down in the South. Oh, you're in the South.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't even know what to say about this, except let's not divide chores. You know equal amounts of this and that I'm doing this, so you should be doing that. I mean it should just be like a regular routine. It just kind of flows. You know, just use your common sense. Why are you keeping score? I mean, apparently they both work, so I don't know why he's not doing anything either. Uh, does keep, look, I've got it made. I can't talk, I've got it made in the shade. I work. My job is not demanding though. Uh, the husband is, you know, retired, so he stays at home and he takes care of everything. I mean, everything is so much so that I feel bad. I feel like I need to be doing something, but you know, what can I do? I don't know. All right, we're moving on. That was a boring one. That was a boring one. Um, oh, this is sounds interesting.
Speaker 1:I don't know if my husband is my son's father. Uh-oh, uh-oh, dear Abby, my ex-husband, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Okay, my ex-husband was found dead in his home three months ago. He was a bitter man who never forgave me for leaving him. We were divorced for 30 years before his death and we have two children and four beautiful grandchildren. For years, he bitterly complained to our children and refused to attend special events because I left him. When there were issues, he refused to help, insisting it was my fault because I had left. The truth is, I left after I walked in on him having sex with my older sister, but he's bitter for her leaving. Okay, got it. Uh, neither of them saw me and I never told him what. Okay, okay, why, why didn't you? Okay? This is so weird. Let me read this again. The truth is I left him after I walked in on him having sex with my older sister. Neither of them saw me and I never told him. Now he's gone.
Speaker 1:My sister, who recently lost her husband, keeps talking to me about my ex-husband, saying how good looking he was. It makes me sick, oh my God. Oh, I loved my husband when I left him, but I could never forgive him. I wish I had said something to him when he was alive, but it was too late. Excuse me Every time, oh my gosh, hold on, oh my gosh. Okay, sorry about that. All right, I'm back.
Speaker 1:Every time my sister speaks of him I get so upset I want to confront her about it, but fear it would do more harm than good. His death was her turned my world upside down and I am so confused. Okay, what does that have to do with you? Don't think your husband is your son's father? What the hell you? I lost the story here. You should. Okay, yeah, why did you not say something? If I had walked in and saw my husband having sex with somebody else, everybody in the neighborhood would know. Okay, that's just crazy. I think that's all made up. But the headline is I don't know if my husband is my son's father, and she says nothing in here about any of that in this dear abby letter? That was dumb. That was just dumb. Okay, I'm just picking these out willy-nilly. Oh, my boyfriend won't divorce his wife. No, I'm not going over that one. Um, the love of my life died in my apartment. I'm scared to be alone now. Not reading that one. My best friend was been secretly using rogaine. I feel left out that he didn't tell me. Not reading that one.
Speaker 1:My daughter called the cake I made for her birthday stupid. Okay, let's read that one. Okay, just because, dear abby, my 40 year old daughter oh my god, 40 year old daughter is on a weight loss injections and no sugar diet. I offered to bake her a sugar-free cheesecake and she agreed. But she asked me to make a tester cake three days before. I explained that the cake has a lengthy preparation process involving a very slow bake in a water bath and 12 hours chill time. Oh my god, I said just go buy something. I suggested she wait, but she insisted, so I made it early. She cut a slice of it and exclaimed how great it tasted. Three days later, I baked and decorated a carrot cake to use as her official birthday cake, since the sugar-free cake had been cut and wouldn't look nice in the photos. Carrot is her children's favorite.
Speaker 1:I hosted everyone at an expensive restaurant, gave her French perfume and a weekend getaway. She's 40. You don't need to be giving these extravagant gifts to your 40-year-old daughter. Sorry, maybe I'm just being a witch here. Uh. So anyway, when we returned from the dinner, my daughter angrily said get in here so we can cut this stupid cake which I can't eat. Oh my gosh, I was shocked and confused. She said I shouldn't have made a cake of a flavor she dislikes. But I pointed out that she had the sugar-free cake too. Apparently, she had expected me to bake a second sugar-free cheesecake. I chewed her out for being ungrateful. Was I wrong? I'm not even going to answer that Y'all. Y'all know your common sense. Come on now.
Speaker 1:Oh, all right, we need to go move on to the question of the day. I don't know about you, but I enjoy reading those, especially like spontaneously, when I haven't read them before and I just read them like I'm reading them to you as I'm reading. Okay, that makes no sense. You know what I mean? Uh, it's just hilarious to me, some of these people that write in. Although I don't think they really write in. I think it probably. 98% of them are probably all made up, maybe 99%. They're probably all made up. They have to be. Oh well, I'm going to oh question of the day.
Speaker 1:Let's stick with the cake. What is your favorite cake? Do you have a favorite cake? Like, if you were, if you on your birthday, and somebody said what kind of cake do you want, what would you order? What would you ask for? I'm going to ask for anything that doesn't have nuts in it. I don't like carrot cake. Probably my favorite is red velvet. There there's my favorite cake. It's red velvet. All right, what about you? All right, got to go Love y'all. Happy weekend. Hopefully the gent and I will be back on Sunday for Brute Awakening. We totally forgot about it last weekend because we were in Tunica, probably, and we were getting ready to leave to come home on that day, on Sunday. So hopefully we'll remember to do an episode Sunday. All right, got to go, Love y.
